There seems to be SO much fucking controversy on livejournal right about now.
Here, let me start some more.
I was looking around some random journals today and read something that caught my eye and almost made it wet.
Drug talk. Usually I don't give a damn but today I realized what they've done to me.
Don't shit your pants, I'm not announcing my 'quitting of drugs', trust me that's not happening at all.
First subtopic, the stereotypical drug user..one who begins experiencing with drugs to 'take the load off' or 'release themselves from insecurities or problems' or 'to be cool'. I'll tell you now that I don't use drugs for any of those reasons..I do it as an experience for myself, a part of my life, something I grew up around in my household, something that seems almost alright to do. Something that makes up my life.
And I'm not looking at this situation and thinking, "Well drugs are ruining my life and I need to do something about it."
Well, I don't see drugs ruining my life right now.
In fact I see them making it a fuckload better.
My preferences in, well, everything, are probably much different than any other sixteen-year-old's. I do not drink, I do not enjoy getting drunk, I do not enjoy going out and being around alot of people I don't know, or sometimes even do.
There are lots of things about me that are completely different than your average Mary Jane.
NOTHING offends me, or at least it takes alot to.
I have about two main people I hang out with, and these people I see everyday, and it doesn't bother me, things being like that. I like to just sit around with Patrick and listen to Sublime.
So maybe I've changed a little, maybe I'm beginning to see the world the way everyone should. But I know that I see things clearly, I can read most people like a book, and I am by no means stupid. I will not put anyone down for something they do or even things they don't do.
If you don't like me doing drugs, then it's really none of your business.
And I know no one cares, except for the ONE person I could never say the above printed sentence to.
The person who brought all of this to my attention is the only person I would ever go through the trouble of all this explaining bullshit that I would normally never waste time doing.
Because what is there to say that's been said once, twice, shit, a million times.
I see that drugs took my best friend away from me.
Although I do see that they introduced me to the only person that's ever come close to filling her place.
Isn't it strange how the world works? How EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, whether you'd like to think so or not?
I don't regret many things I've done,
and this isn't one of them.
My whole situation,
really. Some people look at this, and everyone has their own opinions but I am perfectly happy with my life right now.
I have great friends, great oppritunities, high school in front of me, a chance to do things [even though I probably won't take them]. I have a mess of amazing, beautiful, sweet, generous, funny, down to earth friends that I would go nuts without.
Patrick, Emily, Beth, Matt, Cooper, Meckenzie, Annie, Andy, even some people I never see. I am just for once in my life happy with the way things are going.
Bottom line is, drugs have, if you will, 'enhanced' my life to say the least.
And if you really give a shit about me, you won't leave any stupid, asanine comments about how anti-drug you are, and drug users get sent to hell. And if you don't give a shit about me and are planning to say something like that, well get the fuck off my journal.
I am simply spending day by day doing what I like to do and looking forward to seeing my people this summer. Listening to good music and doing things I find fun, whether it's a drug or not.
[I'm already excited about Arkansas]
Speaking of whom I'm speaking of - my baby's momma [OK, well, Caleb's] is due in like, 4 days.
Goddamn Ashleigh, you're gonna have a kid.
You better call me the minute he pops out.
And I miss you.
And I miss Caleb. And Cat. And Panda. And Chel--ok, I've said all that a million times.
You guys know I'm missin you.
Not going crazy anymore, but missing you with all my heart.
Hey my birthday was last week.
And Christmas is coming up.
And so is the Christmas formal. [I have the CUTEST dress, and date - my sweet, shy litte freshie =D]
Brenna, thank you for the happy birthday.♥
Cooper, thank you for all the weed you've smoked with me in the past week.
Patrick, thank you for being sweet and uplifting, and making me laugh and HEY! Stop being a clit tease. You make me smile.
And another motherfucking thing.
Everyday I see horrible little girls at school with their pleated skirts shoved up their assholes making other less pretty girls lives' hell. Well JESSICA TUTT. First thing is you really aren't that fiiiiiiiiiine and no one wants your shit.
So stop trying to be a bitch, because you're really not good at it and no one wants to hear your horrible, stuck up, annoying mouth.
WOW. I haven't cared about anything like that in a long time.
It amazes me that if something along those lines were to happen to me, I wouldn't care. But when I see it happen to other girls, ooh shit. It burns me up.
I hope I make it to Bonneroo - Cooper is going there instead of beach week, and I'm not fucking going to beach week, so maybe I can go with that fine piece - o - ass.
My house is so cold I am amazed anything is alive in it.
Speaking of things being and not being alive in the house, my hamster finally died.
Weirdly enough, no one was upset.
We were all just like, 'word now we don't have to feed it'.
MUSHROOM BARS ARE IN THIS WEEKEND
I plan on posting pictures tommorrow, of Paddy and I.
TIS THE SEASON,
as Coop would say.